b'AGEISMDont use adjectives for older people that you wouldntapply to younger ones, like spry, feisty, or kindly. Try active, opinionated, or kind. Avoid youth-centric language like young at heart, youthful, or young for your years. Instead, use specific descriptors like playful or full of energy or charismatic or enthusiasticattributes thatare age-independent.Have you ever heard anyone describe themselves aselderly? Avoid the word. Skip the elderly too: it implies infirmity and suggests that advanced age lumps people into some kind of uniform category, when nothing could be further from the case.Nix grandmotherly unless the topic isgrandmotherhood. It reduces women to their reproductive status, leaves out the child-free, andis desexualizing. Look for beauty in older faces and bodies. It is there.Dont assume someone is too oldor too youngtoweigh in on a topic or take on a responsibility.Talk to people significantly older and younger than you and listen carefully. If you dont know many of them, seek them out.Assume capacity, not incapacity. Speak to an olderperson the way you would a younger one. Offer help if it seems appropriate and listen to and respect the answer.The next time you wonder whether an outfit, or anattitude, or an outing is age-appropriate, reconsider the question. For adults, theres no such thing. A good, all-purpose response to an ageist commentis simply, What do you mean by that? Let the uncomfortable silence sit there, and remember: the goal is to change, not to blame.Be on the lookout for ways you are ageist, instead of looking for evidence that you arent. You cant challenge the bias unless youre aware of it, and everyone is biased some of the time. Ageism is woven into the fabric of life, reinforced by the media and popular culture at every turn, and seldom challenged. Why cant we stop ageism? asks ethicist and gerontologist Harry R. Moody. For some answers, start by looking in the mirrorand lookaround you. LTCTAshton Applewhite, a writer and activist, is an in-ternationally recognized expert on ageism who was recently named one of The Healthy Ageing 50 by the Decade of Healthy Ageing platform, a collabo-ration between the United Nations and the World Health Organization. Learn more on her website, thischairrocks.com.www.oltca.com LONG TERM CARE TODAY 49'