b'FAMILY VIOLENCEemergency shelter, a mental health residence for youth, a crisis tele- situation, a person goes into crisis mode, says Bomberry, acti-phone line, community education, and more.vating the fight or flight response. Thats why its helpful to review this booklet in advance and have a plan to be prepared. The organizations name, Gan hkwsr, means love among us in the Cayuga language (Cayuga are part of the larger HaudenosauneePeople can take the booklet with them or leave it at work. If its Confederacy). Executive director Sandra Montour explains thatnot safe to keep a physical copy around, it can be reviewed over love among us is not about romantic love, its a bigger love, andthe phone with someone at Gan hkwsr. The idea is to get a its a love of doing. Its about doing, rather than receiving.person familiar with their safety plan so that during a crisis that safety plan can quickly be put into action. Bomberry also empha-Its this mandate that guides the organizations work in creatingsizes the importance of practising a safety plan so it becomes community-based programs for victims of family violence. It issecond nature. also guided by the Haudenosaunee creation myth about the Sky Woman and her twins (or her twin grandchildren, depending onThe booklet reminds readers that theres no excuse for family the version of the myth). The twins represent good and evil, aviolence. Often, victims may not realize they are in an abusive duality that Montour says everyone has within them. Abusivesituation: in many cases abuse becomes normalized for those behaviour knows no gender. It has no race, no age limits, saysborn into a cycle of violence. Yet even if a person isnt born into Montour. But just as everyone has the potential to be abusive, theyviolence, it can begin to emerge in a new relationship. Oftentimes, also have the potential to be good-minded, she adds. Those arean abuser uses demeaning or belittling language as a form of the values of our community, and we operate our shelter in verycontrol so regularly that the sufferer begins to internalize it. much the same way.The victim may say it is my fault that this is happening, explains Bomberry, and so they stay in that cycle of violence. Its scary to say HANDY TOOL out loud that Im being abused. Were taught not to talk about it. Even though the booklet is meant to be used by those experiencingDont say anything. And not saying anything means staying in that violence at home, it can also be used as a tool to start a dialogueperpetual cycle, because thats their coping mechanism at the time. for those who are concerned about a loved one experiencing abuse.Gan hkwsrs safety planning booklet aims to help people It was our hope to teach people, whether its for themselves,experiencing abuse see the situation for what it is. As Bomberry or their loved ones, about some things they need to be aware ofexplains, it can spark aha moments. I think it creates an aware-when leaving a situation of family violence or intimate partnerness, for [abused people] to be able to say, Maybe I do need to violence, says Julia Bomberry, manager of therapeutic servicesreally take this into consideration, and leave.at Gan hkwsr.The booklet offers suggestions for a variety of circumstances, including what to do during a violent incident, things to consider when preparing to leave a dangerous situation, and guidelines for staying safe at home, at work and in public. We wanted to make sure it was broad enough because in our experience, you need to be safe more than just at home, says Bomberry. In order to increase safety during a violent incident, the booklet notes that its helpful to know possible escape routes at home, as well as to keep essentials like your purse or wallet, phone and keys handy, and to know what safe places and people you can reach out to for help. When preparing to leave, the booklet suggests having an extra set of keys, cash and copies of important documents (like birth certificates, status cards and health cards) in a safe place, like a trusted friend or family members house. It might also be useful to include an extra set of clothes and shoes. For safety at home, the booklet suggests changing the locks and installing motion-sensor lights, if possible. For people experiencing an incident at work, suggestions include informing a supervisor or a trusted coworker about the situation. A safety plan also needs to include children. You dont want to overshare with your kids, but they need to know a certain amount of information for their safety, says Bomberry. Children may want to help their parents in a violent situation and end up being harmed themselves. Its about safety for the kids, too. What do they need to know? How can they be part of the plan in a safe way? PRACTICAL SUGGESTIONSThe booklet encourages victims of violence to memorize important phone numbers, like Gan hkwsrs 24-hour hotline, Indigenous Victim Services, and of course, 911. These practical suggestions may seem obvious to some, but when faced with a dangerous Ontario Native Womens Association39'